For Help, Call 1-866-831-5700

Donate
blue-logo
  • Thought for the Day
  • Insurance
  • FAQs
  • Events
  • Bookstore
  • Recovery Advocacy
  • Patient Login
  • Addiction
    What is Addiction?
    • Understanding Addiction
    • Signs of Addiction
    • Addiction Test
    • Stigma of Addiction
    Help for Families
    • Dealing with Addiction
    • Addiction Prevention
    • Family Toolkit
    • Family Program
    • Children's Program
    • Connection for Families
    Addiction Intervention
    • How To Do An Intervention
    • Teen Intervene
    • Resources for Schools
    Types of Addiction
    • Alcohol Addiction
    • Opioid Addiction
    • Heroin Addiction
    • Other Addictions
  • Treatment
    Treatment Models
    • Inpatient Treatment
    • Outpatient Treatment
    • Detox
    • Specialized Programs
    • Sober Living
    Family and Children
    • Family Program
    • Children's Program
    Admissions
    • Evaluations/Assessments
    • Entering Treatment
    Choosing a Treatment Center
    • Treatment Success Rates
    • What to Expect in Rehab
    • After Treatment
    • 12 Questions to Ask Every Treatment Provider
    • Top Rated Addiction Treatment Centers
    • Insurance

    Treating an Epidemic: Opioid Addiction

    Learn how the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is fighting the nation's epidemic rise in addiction to prescription pain medications and heroin with the development of COR-12™, our opioid treatment program.

  • Locations

    About Locations

    • Location Guide

    California

    • Los Angeles

      Outpatient rehab
      Day treatment
      Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
      Recovery management

    • Rancho Mirage (Betty Ford Center)

      Residential evaluation
      Inpatient rehab
      Outpatient rehab
      Sober living
      Family program
      Children's program
      Recovery management

    • San Diego

      For teens and adults 16+
      Day treatment
      Outpatient treatment
      Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
      Teen Intervene
      Recovery management

    Colorado

    • Aurora

      Betty Ford Center Children's Program
      Help for kids 7-12 years old
      No child turned away due to inability to pay

    Florida

    • Naples

      Inpatient rehab
      Outpatient rehab
      Specialty programs and services
      Sober living
      Family support
      Recovery management

    Illinois

    • Chicago

      Treatment for ages 13-18
      Day treatment with sober living option
      Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
      Teen Intervene
      Family support
      Recovery management

    Minnesota

    • Center City

      Residential evaluation
      Inpatient rehab
      Day treatment with sober living
      Family program
      Recovery management

    • Chaska

      Outpatient rehab
      Teen Intervene
      Family support
      Recovery management

    • Maple Grove

      Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
      Recovery management

    • Plymouth

      Inpatient rehab
      Outpatient rehab
      Specialized programs
      Family/parent programs
      Teen Intervene
      Recovery management

    • St. Paul

      Outpatient rehab adults 18+
      Day treatment
      Intensive outpatient program
      Specialty programs
      Recovery management

    Massachusetts

    • Boston: FCD Prevention Services

      FCD Prevention Works
      Addiction prevention programs

    New York

    • Chelsea

      Outpatient rehab
      Extended outpatient rehab
      Recovery management

    • Tribeca

      Intensive outpatient program
      Sober living
      Family support
      Recovery management

    Oregon

    • Beaverton

      Outpatient rehab
      Day treatment
      Intensive outpatient program (IOP)
      Specialized programs
      Recovery management

    • Newberg

      Inpatient rehab
      Specialty programs
      Day treatment
      Family program
      Recovery management

    Texas

    • Irving

      Betty Ford Center Children's Program
      Betty Ford Five Star Kids Program
      Help for Kids Ages 7 to 12 years-old
      No child turned away due to inability to pay

  • Recovery
    Preventing Relapse
    • Connection Recovery Coaching/Monitoring
    • My Ongoing Recovery Experience (MORE)
    • AA/NA Meetings
    Living in Recovery
    • Alumni
    • Twelve Step Retreats
    • Lodge Programs
    • Recovery Events
    • Volunteer
    Families and Friends
    • Connection for Families
    • Support Groups
    • Family Program
    • Children's Program
    • Al-Anon/Alateen
    • Resources
    Recovery Tools
    • Apps
    • Books
    • The Daily Pledge
    • Thought for the Day: Daily Meditations

    Join Us

    When you are engaged and involved in your alumni community, you not only strengthen your own recovery from addictions but you champion and support your fellow travelers.

  • Education
    Graduate School of Addiction Studies
    • Addiction Counseling Degree Programs
    • Customized Training
    • Admissions and Aid
    • Why Choose Us
    • Current Students
    • Graduate School Alumni
    • About the Graduate School
    • Contact Us
    Butler Center for Research
    • Addiction Research
    • Addiction Treatment Statistics
    • Addiction Journals and Abstracts
    • Addiction Research Library
    • About the Butler Center for Research
    Medical and Professional Education
    • Professionals in Residence (PIR) Program
    • Summer Institute for Medical Students (SIMS)
    • Medical Education Partnership
    • Course on Addiction and Recovery Education (CARE)
    • Addiction Medicine Fellowship
    • Psychology Internships
    • Continuing Education and Webinars

    Join Us for Our Next Graduate School Open House

    Meet the professors at a scheduled informational open house.

  • Professionals
    Education for Professionals
    • Medical and Professional Education
    • Continuing Education
    • Webinars
    • Events for Professionals
    • Graduate School of Addiction Studies
    Professional Resources
    • Treatment Success Rates
    • For You and Your Staff
    • Professional Relations Team
    • Clinical Connection eNews
    • Professionals FAQs
    How to Refer a Patient
    • Why Choose Us?
    • Insurance
    Patient Care Network

    Minnesota Treatment Centers Now In-Network with United Healthcare

    By June, all California locations will also be in-network for more than 60 million Americans who have insurance plans utilizing the United Behavioral Health (UBH) network.

  • Blog

    Treatment

    • 12 Signs You’re a Lawyer with an Alcohol Problem
    • Evolving Treatments for the Opioid Crisis
    • Focus on Youth

    Recovery

    • Is Codependency Affecting Your Relationships?
    • Addiction and Self Image

    Prevention

    • Healthy Student Choices Through Mindfulness
    • Electronic Cigarettes and Teen Health

    Education

    • A Deeper Understanding of How to Best Help
    • Lifesaving Lessons in Healing and Hope
    • How to Become an Addiction Counselor

    Advocacy

    • Recovery Advocacy in Action
    • Why Addressing Pain is Essential to Treating Opioid Dependence

    Giving Back

    • With Gratitude to our Generous Donors
    • Empowering Children of Homes with Addiction

    Is Codependency Affecting Your Relationships?

    Identifying codependency and finding help for the helper.

  • About Us
    Our Mission
    • Our History
    Support Our Mission
    • Careers
    • Volunteer
    • Donate
    News and Media
    • Press Releases
    • Press Contact
    • Annual Reports
    Why Choose Hazelden Betty Ford?
    • Treatment Success Rates
    • Testimonials
    Leadership
    • Executive
    • Medical
    • Thought Leaders

    Responding to the Opioid Epidemic

    Every day, 44 Americans die from overdoses involving prescription opioids. Learn how we are continuing our mission to be a force of hope and healing, and what we are doing on the front lines to help families and communities affected by opioid addiction.

  • Trending Searches

    • Alcoholism
    • Codependency
    • Family
    • Relationships
    • Signs of addiction
    • Twelve Steps
Menu
Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Logo
call Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

For Help Call
1-866-831-5700

Back Home
  • Addiction

    Addiction

    • What is Addiction?
      • Understanding Addiction
      • Signs of Addiction
      • Addiction Test
      • Stigma of Addiction
    • Help for Families
      • Dealing with Addiction
      • Addiction Prevention
      • Family Toolkit
      • Family Program
      • Children's Program
      • Connection for Families
    • Addiction Intervention
      • How to Do an Intervention
      • Teen Intervene
      • Resources for Schools
    • Types of Addiction
      • Alcohol Addiction
      • Opioid Addiction
      • Heroin Addiction
      • Other Addictions
  • Treatment

    Treatment

    • Treatment Models
      • Inpatient Treatment
      • Outpatient Treatment
      • Detox
      • Specialized Programs
      • Sober Living
    • Family and Children
      • Family Program
      • Children's Program
    • Admissions
      • Evaluations/Assessments
      • Entering Treatment
    • Choosing a Treatment Center
      • Treatment Success Rates
      • What to Expect in Rehab
      • After Treatment
      • 12 Questions to Ask Every Treatment Provider
      • Top Rated Addiction Treatment Centers
      • Insurance
  • Locations

    Locations

    • About Locations
      • Location Guide
    • California
      • Los Angeles
      • Rancho Mirage (Betty Ford Center)
      • San Diego
    • Colorado
      • Aurora
    • Florida
      • Naples
    • Illinois
      • Chicago
    • Massachusetts
      • Boston: FCD Prevention Services
    • Minnesota
      • Center City
      • Chaska
      • Maple Grove
      • Plymouth
      • St. Paul
    • New York
      • Chelsea
      • Tribeca
    • Oregon
      • Beaverton
      • Newberg
    • Texas
      • Irving
  • Recovery

    Recovery

    • Preventing Relapse
      • Connection Recovery Coaching/Monitoring
      • My Ongoing Recovery Experience (MORE)
      • AA/NA Meetings
    • Living in Recovery
      • Alumni
      • Twelve Step Retreats
      • Lodge Programs
      • Recovery Events
      • Volunteer
    • For Families and Friends
      • Connection for Families
      • Support Groups
      • Family Program
      • Children's Program
      • Al-Anon/Alateen
      • Resources
    • Recovery Tools
      • Apps
      • Books
      • The Daily Pledge
      • Thought for the Day: Daily Meditations
  • Education

    Education

    • Graduate School of Addiction Studies
      • Addiction Counseling Degree Programs
      • Admissions and Aid
      • Customized Training
      • Why Choose Us
      • Current Students
      • Graduate School Alumni
      • About Us
      • Contact Us
    • Butler Center for Research
      • Addiction Research
      • Addiction Treatment Statistics
      • Addiction Journals and Abstracts
      • Addiction Research Library
      • About the Butler Center for Research
    • Medical and Professional Education
      • Professionals in Residence (PIR) Program
      • Summer Institute for Medical Students (SIMS)
      • Medical Education Partnership
      • Course on Addiction and Recovery Education (CARE)
      • Addiction Medicine Fellowship
      • Psychology Internships
      • Continuing Education and Webinars
  • Professionals

    Professionals

    • Education for Professionals
      • Medical and Professional Education
      • Continuing Education
      • Webinars
      • Events for Professionals
      • Graduate School of Addiction Studies
    • Professional Resources
      • Treatment Success Rates
      • For You and Your Staff
      • Professional Relations Team
      • Clinical Connection eNews
      • Professionals FAQs
    • How to Refer a Patient
      • Why Choose Us?
      • Insurance
    • Patient Care Network
  • Blog

    Blog

    • Treatment
      • 12 Signs You’re a Lawyer with an Alcohol Problem
      • Evolving Treatments for the Opioid Crisis
    • Recovery
      • Is Codependency Affecting Your Relationships?
      • Addiction and Self Image
    • Prevention
      • Healthy Student Choices Through Mindfulness
      • Electronic Cigarettes and Teen Health
    • Education
      • A Deeper Understanding of How to Best Help
      • Lifesaving Lessons in Healing and Hope
    • Advocacy
      • Recovery Advocacy in Action
      • Why Addressing Pain is Essential to Treating Opioid Dependence
    • Giving Back
      • With Gratitude to our Generous Donors
      • Empowering Children of Homes with Addiction
  • About Us

    About Us

    • Our Mission
      • Our History
    • Support Our Mission
      • Careers
      • Volunteer
      • Donate
    • News and Media
      • Press Releases
      • Press Contact
      • Annual Reports
    • Why Choose Hazelden Betty Ford?
      • Treatment Success Rates
      • Testimonials
    • Leadership
      • Executive
      • Medical
      • Thought Leaders
  • Thought for the Day
  • Insurance
  • FAQS
  • Events
  • Bookstore
  • Recovery Advocacy
  • Patient Login
Donate
  • Home
  • Articles
  • Recovery: So Much More Than Not Using Drugs
scroll to top
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkd In
  • Google+
Recovery
September 19, 2016 | BY: Derek J.

Recovery: So Much More Than Not Using Drugs

Strength + Courage

"Life became this delicate balance of using different chemicals to try and offset the side effects of the chemical before it."

Q: At which facility did you receive treatment?

A: I have been to a few different treatment facilities: Three times to Center City as well as other inpatient/outpatient programs, detoxes, hospitals, and psych wards. I most recently attended Center City and have been clean ever since.

Q: What is your sobriety date?

A: February 12, 2014

Q: What was it like, what happened, and what is it like now?

A: I started using at a young age, thinking prescription pills were "harmless" because doctors prescribed them, so how bad could they really be? From the first time I tried them, I knew I had found what made me "complete," so I made sure to never run out and to always have them in my system.

As my tolerance increased, it took more work to make enough money to support my habit, and supplies ran low as I cleared out my suppliers. My solution to this was to switch to heroin and start selling drugs. This seemed like a bulletproof idea at the time, but things went downhill faster than I ever thought possible. Life became this delicate balance of using different chemicals to try and offset the side effects of the chemical before it. Meth countered the drowsiness of the heroin but made me feel anxious, so I would use Xanax or alcohol to counter the anxiety. This combination resulted in a different type of drowsiness that I would try to counter with a different stimulant, and then I couldn't eat or sleep for days, my next solution was to use marijuana to try to eat and "come down."

I was my own doctor but I had no idea what I was doing and couldn't get the recipe right. I was miserable. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, I started having legal problems, I was homeless, living in hotels or couch-hopping, and I was overdosing on a regular basis. My family wanted nothing to do with me, I was frequently in dangerous situations, and to top it all off … the drugs that caused all of this weren’t even working anymore. I was using just to avoid withdrawals because any bit of fun had ended long ago. But I couldn't stop.

Finally, I reached a point where I was willing to take my own life just to escape. I am grateful that I didn't follow through with that decision; however, I am equally grateful for the feeling of desperation that came from that thought. I wanted to try to find a new way to live.

I had been to treatment a few times before, but only to avoid this or that consequence, and I never intended on staying clean. This time was different. So I checked myself into treatment again, but this time I was there with the desire for change. The only issue was that I still thought heroin was the only problem. I was in and out of treatment, each failure teaching me something new. I thought I could still use as long as I didn't use a needle. I thought I could still smoke weed. I thought I could still drink. I thought I could take party drugs as long as I only used them at parties. And each time I would try one of these "workarounds" to what they taught me in treatment, I would end up back in the same situation until I checked myself back into treatment again.

Finally, I ran out of ideas and was forced to surrender. I actually did what was suggested and the funny thing is, I am still clean today. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor, I work the Steps, I volunteer to be of service, and I surround myself with people who want what is best for me. Today, life has never been better. In fact, I had no idea life could be this good. I have regained all of the things I lost from my addiction. I have a home, I have a great relationship with my family, I make money legitimately, my health is great, and I am grateful to be alive. I get to do things I love today as well. I am playing music in a band again, going to the gym, disc golfing, snowboarding, traveling—the list could go on forever, but the point is I can do whatever I set my mind to today without being tied down with chemicals. I wouldn't trade my recovery for anything.

Q: When did you realize you needed help—what led you to treatment?

A: The combination of legal problems, homelessness, overdosing and alienation from my family made me miserable. There was no joy in my life because the drugs were only being used so I could avoid withdrawal. The gift of desperation finally led me to get help. I am sure I could have used some help long before that point, but I never really thought of it as an actual option until all of these circumstances came together.

Q: What was the toughest aspect of quitting for you?

A: Quite simply, it was staying quit.

It became too easy to check myself into treatment, go through the withdrawals, and have all the drugs out of my system when I left a month later. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't hard. The hard part is getting there, and doing what is needed after leaving. I would say the hardest part over all was changing my lifestyle. I knew I wanted to quit using, but I didn't know how to live any other way than how I was. I had to change the people, places, and things in my life in order to move forward. And when I finally did, that's when I started succeeding in recovery. Recovery is about so much more than not using drugs. Once I understood that, it all made a lot more sense.

Q: Do you have advice for the still-suffering addict?

A: Do what is suggested. I hated hearing that when I was in treatment, but it is the solution I was looking for all along. Another big piece for me is accepting addiction for what it is. It's not about the drugs, it is about the behaviors and personality traits I have. When I focus on that, and being the best me that I can be, my recovery is strong.

Q: What is the best thing about being sober?

A: Being me again. Or learning who I am for the first time. I get to remove the masks and be the person I really am. I get to do the things I love or things I have always wanted to do. I get to be a productive member of society. I like the person I am. I have real relationships with people, friends, and family. I like being the best me I can be.

Q: Do you have a favorite recovery phrase or slogan?

A: We never have to use again.

Q: What do you find inspiring in recovery?

A: Seeing a newcomer who keeps coming back and wants to get better. Watching them grow and celebrate increments of clean-time. I love witnessing everyone's successes in the program. Seeing the way people look at the key tag that signifies a clean-time increment. It's just a cheap piece of plastic, but there is nothing in the world we have ever worked so hard to earn.

"Finally, I ran out of ideas and was forced to surrender."

—Derek J.

Derek J shares his story of recovery from addiction 

Man running in near a mountain lake

Want to learn more? Select a Tag to explore a particular topic, or browse articles.

Recovery Personal stories Center City
Recovery
Read More
Consequences of Codependency

Is Codependency Affecting Your Relationships?

Learn how codependent behaviors develop and how you can break the cycle to improve your relationship... Read More >

Recovery
Read More
Man meditating in a meadow

Addiction and Self Image

Understanding the relationship between addiction and lack of self-esteem. Read More >

Recovery
Read More
Understanding caretaking vs. caregiving

How to Love with Your Heart and Eyes Wide Open

Understanding caretaking vs. caregiving Read More >

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkd In
  • Google+

The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is a force of healing and hope for individuals, families and communities affected by addiction to alcohol and other drugs. It is the nation's largest nonprofit treatment provider, with a legacy that began in 1949 and includes the 1982 founding of the Betty Ford Center. With 17 sites in California, Minnesota, Oregon, Illinois, New York, Florida, Massachusetts, Colorado and Texas, the Foundation offers prevention and recovery solutions nationwide and across the entire continuum of care for youth and adults.

Sign Up for Email

Sign Up for Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • You Tube
  • Linkd In
  • Social Community
  • Instagram
  • Google+
  • Pinterest

  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy
  • Accessibility
  • Nondiscrimination
  • Careers
  • Contact Us
© 2018 Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. All Rights Reserved.
© 2018 Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. All Rights Reserved.