How to Help an Alcoholic

When someone you love repeatedly chooses alcohol or other drugs over everything else, it can feel like the person you once knew is slipping away. But they're still there—just caught in the grip of something powerful. Alcoholism, now called "alcohol use disorder," is a serious condition that changes how the brain works and affects every part of a person's life.

Often, the person struggling with addiction is the last to recognize the problem. And for family members, the pain and confusion can be overwhelming. It's important to understand that alcoholism isn't just about how much someone drinks—it's a chronic, progressive disease. And as much as you want to help, you can't love someone into sobriety. What you can do is learn about addiction, explore effective recovery options, and seek the support you need and deserve.

One of the most common questions people ask is, "How do I know if it's really a problem?" Alcoholism can manifest in subtle ways at first—frequent hangovers, missed obligations or defensiveness about drinking habits. Over time, these behaviors may escalate into secrecy, mood swings or physical symptoms like tremors. Trust your instincts. If you're concerned, it's worth paying attention and seeking guidance.

What Makes a Person an Alcoholic?

Most people who drink alcohol do so without developing a dependency. But for some, drinking can gradually lead to alcohol use disorder. A person's vulnerability can be shaped by many factors—genetics, family history, environment, and even the age they first began drinking or using other substances. The line between use and abuse isn't always clear; many people turn to alcohol to cope with emotional pain, trauma or undiagnosed mental health conditions like anxiety or depression.

Whether someone appears highly functional or deeply affected, the signs can vary widely. Understanding the stages of alcoholism—including early warning signs and behavioral patterns—can help you recognize when support is needed. 

What Can I Do if I Think My Loved One Is an Alcoholic?

Living with someone in active addiction impacts every part of life—work, health, finances, and relationships. Ignoring the effects of alcohol addiction only allows the situation to worsen. By the time families seek help, the disease may have escalated to a crisis like an accident, job loss, arrest or medical emergency. Alcohol abuse can also lead to violence, injuries and risky behavior.

Alcoholism is a disease rooted in isolation, secrecy and shame. The most caring thing you can do is speak up and seek support. Starting a conversation about drinking is difficult but essential. Choose a calm, private moment and speak from concern, not confrontation. Use "I" statements like, "I've noticed you've been drinking more, and I'm worried." Avoid labels or blame—the goal is to open a door, not win an argument.

Here are four more positive actions you can take today if you're worried about your loved one's alcohol use.

1. Educate yourself about the medical implications of alcoholism.
   
   When alcohol use disorder goes untreated, it can lead to serious—even life-threatening—health consequences. That's why medically supervised detox is often the safest first step toward recovery. Alcohol withdrawal can be complex and unpredictable, with symptoms ranging from mild and barely noticeable (headache, nausea, high blood pressure) to severe and potentially fatal (seizures or a dangerous condition called delirium tremens).
   
   The detox process varies from person to person, and complicating health conditions—like heart disease or a history of seizures—can increase the risks. In a medically supervised detox setting, professionals are able to monitor health closely, manage symptoms with care, and provide the support needed to ease withdrawal symptoms, relieve cravings and begin healing with confidence and safety.
   
   
2. Learn about treatment methods and rehab programs.
   
   Addiction treatment comes in many different forms and modalities, from inpatient care to outpatient and virtual programs to medication-assisted treatment to peer support and recovery communities.
   
   It's important to understand that alcohol use disorder often coexists with mental health challenges like anxiety, depression or trauma. These underlying issues can fuel the cycle of addiction and make recovery more complex. Encouraging your loved one to seek professional help that addresses both their mental health and substance use can lead to more sustainable healing.
   
   If you're not familiar with Twelve Step recovery, you might also want to do some research into how recovery support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, can help. Here are some basics about Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and Twelve Step recovery practices.
   
   
3. Consider the possibility of an intervention.
   
   During an intervention with a loved one, family members show love and support while setting clear boundaries around substance abuse and consequences related to drinking. Clinical interventionist Drew Horowitz explains that an intervention with an alcoholic is not a confrontation, a fight or an argument. It's a family meeting—often facilitated by a professional who understands what it takes to motivate someone to enter treatment.
   
   A professional intervention can be especially beneficial if your loved one is in denial about the extent of their substance use problem. In active addiction, denial can be a powerful dynamic for the person with alcoholism as well as loved ones, building up subtly over time as everyone goes into survival mode in order to make it through the next crisis. Denial can show up as defiance ("I can quit drinking whenever I want to"); denial can show up as blame ("The only reason I drink is because you …"); and denial can show up as deceit ("I swear I only had two drinks"). A professional interventionist has expertise in addiction treatment, family systems and what's involved in encouraging an alcoholic or addict to enter treatment.
   
   
4. Get help for yourself
   
   Whether or not your loved one seeks help, their struggle has likely taken a toll on you. While you can't control their choices, you can take care of your own well-being. You are not powerless. Support groups like Al-Anon and Alateen offer free, accessible resources for families and friends of those struggling with addiction. These programs emphasize the "three Cs" of recovery: You didn't cause the alcoholism, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
   
   It's easy to lose yourself in someone else's pain. That's why support groups and therapy can be so valuable—they provide a safe space to process emotions, set healthy boundaries and connect with others who truly understand.
   
   Helping a loved one through addiction is one of the most difficult—and courageous—things you can do. It's okay to feel uncertain. What matters most is showing up with compassion, staying informed and remembering that recovery is possible.

If you or a loved one is struggling with a substance use disorder, get the help you need and deserve. With residential, outpatient and virtual care options available across the country, Hazelden Betty Ford treatment centers offer every patient the very best chance for lifelong recovery.